There is a reason why women love men in uniform. As comedian Sandy Brown puts it, “When you see a man in uniform, you can always smell… BENEFITS”. A man in uniform exudes power and authority. He is perceived as responsible, committed, and most importantly, clean and tidy. Not that men who don’t wear uniforms can’t be all those things too. But let’s just say, it’s not a standard. Here are some of the drool-inducing uniforms that men wear, which work magic on women. You may want to consider having one of these “Hot” suits, if ever you want to engage in some role-playing fun with your lady friend.

Sexiest Male Uniforms

Firefighter

You may want to quit your dayjob working for an internet provider. There is nothing that drives women more wild, than a red hot firefighter outfit. Why? Because firefighters risk their lives everyday to save others’, and they have to be in wicked shape to do it. Firefighters are known to be so hot in fact that every year, Sexy Firefighter Calendars are sold, featuring the world’s hottest fire-stoppers.

 

Police

Frisk me officer! Both military men and police officers present an image of enhanced masculinity and authority that often has a strong sexual appeal to women. And let’s face it, handcuffs definitely help to show who’s boss.

 

Military

Risking their lives for their country, men in their army, marine, or pilot gear are a big hit among female counterparts. And some male ones too. These uniforms denote the man as a protector. Military men also must be highly disciplined and very fit, qualities sure to get a girl’s panties in a twist.

 

Marine

Pilot

Gardner

Why women love him? He is at one with nature, gets his hands dirty and knows the name of every type of flower. He spends his days outside in the sun, working up a natural golden tan. His uniform usually consists of pants and sweat beads dripping down his shirtless chest.

Lifeguard

Also spending his days outside in the sun, the lifeguard’s uniform is comprised of bathing suit trousers and a defined 8 pack.

Facial hair is every boy’s passage into manhood. From the very first sprouts to poke out of the corner of the young lad’s upper lip, there is something truly sacred about a man’s facial hair, as precious as a US work visa is to a foreigner working in the States. In fact, the American Mustache Institute (AMI) was specifically established to advocate facial hair and promote greater acceptance of moustaches in the workplace and throughout modern culture. Seriously!

To honor famous facial hair, here’s a look at some of the most celebrated beards and moustaches worn by some of the biggest, baddest stars.

Tom Selleck

“The Magnum Moustache”

Sam Elliott

“The Horseshoe Moustache”

I believe this quote justly sums up the greatness of Sam Elliott’s man-stash: Sam Elliott’s mustache exudes complete testicular endowment. His mustache is like John Wayne’s sweat mixed with a chainsaw, three pints of Guiness, Indiana Jones, early Nintendo era Castlevania and motor oil. -Gents with cool ass facial hair-

Chuck Norris

“Behind Chuck Norris’ Beard is another fist.”

Frank Zappa

“The Imperial Moustache”

Zappa became so identifiable by his moustache that after his death its image was copyrighted by the Zappa Family Trust.

ZZ Top

“The ZZ Top”

In the 80s, Billy Gibbons (guitar) and Dusty Hill (bass guitar) were offered millions of dollars by a razor company to shave their beards off. They declined.

Joaquin Phoenix

“Chief Crazy Beard”

When Joaquin seemingly lost his mind, quit the movie business, grew a shabby Jesus Morrison beard and made his rap debut, rumors circulated that it was an elaborate hoax. In fact at the time, Casey Affleck was filiming a documentary on Phoenix called I’m Still Here: The Last Year of Joaquin Phoenix.The Los Angeles Times reported that the film featured “more male frontal nudity than you’d find in some gay porn films and a stomach-turning sequence in which someone feuding with Phoenix defecates on the actor while he’s asleep”. Reportedly film buyers, after seeing it, were still uncertain whether it was a serious documentary or a mockumentary.

Brad Pitt

“Van Dyke/Goatboy”

Pitt told Britain’s The Sun that the reason he is growing a beard is because he’s bored.

Hulk Hogan

“The Handlebar”

Salvador Dali

“The Dali”

The famous painter’s trademark moustache, is characterized by long points bent or curved steeply upward which require an artificial styling aid (i.e. stash wax). Dalí published a book dedicated solely to his moustache.

 

John Waters

“The Pencil Moustache/Mouthbrow”

The pencil moustache is narrow, straight and thin as though it has been drawn on with a pencil. It is closely clipped, outlining the upper lip, with a wide shaven gap between the nose and moustache. It was the moustache of choice for the fictional character Gomez Addams of The Addams Family. Billionaire-aviator Howard Hughes was known for his iconic pencil moustache, which he grew after a 1946 plane crash.

Gene Shalit

“The Handlebar”

Known for his frequent use of puns, rocky relationship with Bryant Gumbel and the bushy, mother-of-all handlebar moustaches. (Handlebar moustaches resemble the handlebars of a motorcycle)

 

Billy Mays

“There are two kinds of people in this world that go around beardless—boys and women—and I am neither one”-Greek Quote-

 

 Geraldo Rivera

When he isn’t helping people in wheelchairs, he must be using his time grooming his bountiful salt-and-pepper man-stash.

 

Rollie Fingers

“The Spaghetti Stash”

The spaghetti stash got its name for its stereotypical association with Italian men. Rollie Fingers certainly had one bad-ass stash and a name to match.

Groucho Marx

“The Greasepaint-Satsh”

The greasepaint moustache and eyebrows Marx painted on originated as a quick-fix reaction prior to a vaudeville performance when he did not have time to apply the pasted-on moustache he had been using, plus he did not enjoy the removal of the moustache because of the effects of tearing an adhesive bandage off the same patch of skin every time he wore it.

Charlie Chaplin

“Sole Stash, The Chaplin,The Hitler Stache or The Toothbrush”

Chaplin devised his moustache from a bit of crepe hair belonging to Mark Swain, an American actor and vaudevillian, prolific throughout the 1910’s-1930’s. Both Marx and Chaplin wore artifical moustaches most of their lives.

Alexi Lalas

“Ginger Beard”

Ron Jeremy

The “Hedgehog’s” moustache make him possibly one of the most recognizable faces in the porn industry.

Strikebeards

 The strike beards were the result of the Writers Guild of America strike. Conan O’Brien, grew his first-ever beard, calling it “a hobby on my face”.

Ned Flanders

You may recall the controversy that arose in 2004, over the suggestion by FIFA president Sepp Blatter that female players wear more revealing uniforms in order to “bring more attention to their sport”. He defended his position saying that women’s soccer needed to attract fashion and cosmetics companies by featuring sexier uniforms.  Though the shorts never got shorter and the necklines never revealed more cleavage, here’s to the sports that tantalize us with their dead-sexy uniforms.

Tennis

Volleyball

 

Gymnastics

Figure Skating

Cheerleading

So cheerleading may not be considered an “official” sport but the athleticism involved certainly makes it worth mentioning. Cheerleaders need the perfect recipe of diet, strength, endurance, and the flexibility of some of the best gymnasts.

Lingerie Football

The concept of Lingerie Football (i.e. Heaven on Earth) originated from the Super Bowl halftime alternative television special called the Lingerie Bowl. Now, the Lingerie Football League (LFL) is a women’s American 7-on-7 tackle football league with games played in the Fall and Winter at NFL, NHL and MLS arenas and stadiums.

Lesbian fashion is something that has puzzled me to no end. As an openly gay, feminine woman, sexually attracted to other feminine women, I have always been curious as to why, in our day and age, it seems the majority of lesbians continue to assume more masculine roles and styles whether it’s in the clothes they wear, their comportment, or even the adoption of butch/femme gender roles in relationships. Lesbians come in a wide variety of shapes, moods and sizes and some are built with a lot more fashion sense than others. If you’ve ever wondered what lesbian fashion is, or better yet, how sexuality can have a style, I have broken down the main tenets of lesbian fashion and provided some insight as to why some lesbians identify with a particular lesbian style over another. This article will contain generalizations and stereotypes that may not be suitable for audiences that don’t have a sense of humour.

The Lipstick Lesbian

As the name suggests, the lipstick lesbian is not afraid of make-up, heels, dresses and accessories. She embraces the typical aspects of what is considered feminine, long hair, make-up, clothes that show off her curves. This often leads to the assumption that she is straight, bi-curious or at most bisexual. Given that lesbians had to hide their sexuality for so long, there are still many lesbian women today that may dress in a way that coincides with the heterosexual norm. Others will be open about their homosexuality yet still take on more feminine roles. They may prefer dating women who present themselves in a more masculine way. Then again, there are many lipstick lesbians who are attracted to girlie girls and also like looking like girlie girls. They blend right into mainstream heterosexual culture while being completely comfortable with their sexuality.

The Butch Lesbian

We love softball and hiking

Butch lesbians were particularly prominent in the working-class lesbian bar culture of the 1940s, ’50s, and ’60s. In the 1940s many butch lesbians were living a double life, dressing in typical feminine attire during their work week, saving their best shirt and tie for an underground bar event over the weekend. By the 1950s however, a new generation of butches emerged, wearing “butch” attire full-time. This usually limited them to a few occupations with no dress codes, such as factory work and cab driving. Nowadays many butches continue to commemorate their butch roots wearing trucker hats, construction boots and cut-off tee-shirts, pulling together the look with those stunning mullets.

The Tomboy/Soft Butch Lesbian

I didn’t know Hilary Swank’s character in “Boys Don’t Cry” could become a pop star!

The soft butch/chapstick lesbian is androgynous in appearance, shops in the Boy section of Men’s stores and is in great part responsible for hipster fashion. You’ll be able to spot her from her lopsided haircut and arm-sleeve tattoo, wearing skin tight black jeans, canvas shoes, a wallet-chain, and perhaps some thick, black-framed Clark Kent glasses. Though the soft butch typically has short hair, male clothes, and a masculine attitude she embraces gender dichotomies and chooses to blend them.

The Power Lesbian

Adopting the assured, strong qualities typically associated with men,the power lesbian is a career-driven, flat shoe, DKNY wearing woman-on-the-go, juggling full-time corporate responsibilities like the talent management of her employees, but always finding time to slip out of the office for a quick “boxed lunch”. (Who doesn’t love a lesbian pun?) The power lesbian is of the lesbian elite. She has money, connections and power, and will only be seen wearing the most sophisticated, tailored attire, letting everyone know who’s boss.

The Artsy Lesbian

You’re most likely to find the artsy lesbian working as an art curator at your local art gallery dressed head to toe in black Japanese designer clothing. Turtlenecks are also very popular among this group.

The Literary Lesbian

She listens to Ani DiFranco and Kenny Star, knows the complete works of Djuna Barnes, is an activist on a raw food diet and most likely using her cat’s excrement to fertilize her plants.

Drag Kings

John Goodman as “Deli Owner”

Drag kings dress in masculine drag personifying male gender stereotypes as part of their performance. A drag king routine usually incorporates dancing, lip-synching, singing, either individually or in groups.  Drag kings will exaggerate macho male characteristics and often impersonate male celebrities like Elvis Presley.