Isn’t it odd how the emaciated Lindsay Lohan’s and Nicole Richie’s of the world like to swim in large fabrics, while some of their more ample-sized counterparts seem to have no problem busting out of their crop-tops and low-waisted jeans with their muffin tops hanging out? The media and fashion industry cruelly make fashion victims of the impressionable and here are some examples of the grossly unflattering fashion missteps people make by either trying to squeeze into the wrong sizes or by drowning in clothes that don’t fit.

Baggy In All The Wrong Places

Maybe it’s just me, but it seems the only explainable reason for skinny celebrities to wear such unflatteringly large garbs must be to hide an eating disorder. Either that, or a baby bump. But with their alcohol and drug consumption, we sure hope not, as the pregnancy would surely be a cause for medical alarm.

Solution: If you have a skinny bodytype and don’t want to accentuate your bony structure you can still wear tailored clothing. In fact, baggy clothes may highlight your inability to fill out clothing.  If you’re looking for an alternative to the skinny-pant try a flared or boot-cut instead. Layered clothing is also an asset to skinny women. Pairing a sleeveless cardigan with a fitted tee is a good example. Belts are another way of adding shape to your body.

Tight In All The Wrong Places

Where to begin while trying to avoid ejecting part or all of the contents of the stomach through the mouth, usually in a series of involuntary spasmic movements? These outfits go beyond the realms of trashy.  For what not to do, consult the above photo. Big can be beautiful, but let’s tidy up the packaging a little. Lacing ropes tightly up and down your pudge is no good way to attract attention. Also, even the nicest of asses should leave themselves to be discovered, rather than flag themselves at onlookers against their will.

Solution: I’m not at all suggesting that fuller figured women hide themselves from head to toe. Most men enjoy something to hold on to, but it would be nice if they also felt comfortable bringing you to a restaurant. Finding a bra that fits is key. Most decent lingerie stores have women who will measure and fit you. Keeping the girls up where they should be will make the rest of dressing easier. Go for clothing that is tailored, but not form-fitting. Purchase skirts and dresses that go to the knee, and avoid the skinny jean. Pants should be boot cut or slightly flared and go all the way to the ground. Avoid round necked and extremely deep ‘V’ cut tops; instead opt for blouses, three quarter lengthed sleeve tops or a wrap top.

Hips Don’t Lie

Curves are one of the most beautiful and defining traits of woman, but for those packing in a lot of extra badonkadonk, form-fitting attire that looks like it has been painted on to the skin is not the way to go. Also, structured corsets squeezing your upper half don’t help either. Detailing on the hip itself is another no-no, because it leads the eye to what you’ve now made into a problem area.

Solution: For bigger hips, bring the attention upwards. Wear shirts with texture, detailing or other accents. Look for a boot or straight leg pant, steering very clear of the skinny jean which will only amplify the pear shape. If you need to wear a belt, stay away from the bulky loud ones. For dresses, seek out ones with a high, umpire waist which will detract from the hips and bring out your bust.

Inedible Muffin Tops

Mmmmmmany women are leaving the house with untucked rolls nowadays. Yes, we love a low-waisted jean, but not if it reveals a tire of belly and back-fat. These are the things that make a curvy body look wrong, when curvy women are so right.

Solution: Get a nice pair of moderate to high-waisted jeans. Wear your shirt tucked in, or long, past the waist of the jeans. Avoid crop tops or shirts that show your skin whenever you’re reaching for something. Pants you have to pull up or shirts you have to pull down are only a struggle and a bulge revealer.

Sausage Rolls

Some people think that squeezing oneself into a tight body stocking is a good way to seem slim. A slim Jim is more like it. If you have to lie down on a bed to get your pants up, they are too tight.

Solution: Skinny jeans can be fabulous. The key is to find some with a good amount of stretch to them so they aren’t cutting off your circulation. Non-stretch jeans will also stretch out more and not go back to their original size as easily.

Peek-a-butt

We all have one, but some of us feel more like sharing than others. This semi-exhibitionist trend is beyond me.

Solution: Guys, pull up your pants and purchase a belt.

Tall Tees

Shirts like these are great paired with such eloquent expressions as ‘”hey brah” and “dude, your kicks are tight”. They aren’t, however, good for second dates or respect.

 Solution: Long shirts only make you look shorter, which for a man is not ideal. Tall Tees if they must exist at all are, as the name suggests, for tall people. Crop it. Stop it.