Why does the military put so much importance on dress and appearance? Is it just another excuse for the drill instructors to go ape-shit on new recruits; or does fashion have an influence on the outcome of warfare? Do the armies sporting the best duds have the upper hand over their less chic opponents? Basically I would like to know if Giorgio Armani could have helped Mussolini to win a battle. If pardon Canada wipes you criminal record clean, who does the wiping when you’ve committed a fashion crime and they called in the fashion police?
The Battle of Waterloo (1815 Battle in the Napoleonic Wars)
The first impression that I get when looking at the opposing French and British armies is that these soldiers could never blend in with their surroundings. The bright red and blue colors would surely stand out amongst the natural landscape; while the over-sized hats would be a dead giveaway when attempting to hide behind…well, anything. However, with the type of warfare practiced among European countries during this period, covert ops was not common. For the most part the opposing armies would line up across from each other, in tightly packed formation, and exchange musket volleys. Perhaps the bright colors were to help present a better target to the enemy. This sounds strange, but it seems to match the rest of their military reasoning.
When compared, these uniforms are not all that different from each other with the high boots, trousers, huge hats and bright coats. The colors are the main difference. Therefore, it is difficult to determine which uniform is superior. If anything the stylish French hats give Napoleon’s troop the upper hand. In terms of the actual Battle of Waterloo, it was the British led allied forces who won the day. One thing is for sure, the “Red Coats” did not dominate because of their blazing blazers.
The Boer War (1899-1902)
Britain was arguably the most powerful nation when the Boer War broke out in South Africa. Thankfully they had the good sense to wear the more understated tan uniforms in place of their previous eye sores. These lighter uniforms were a smart choice to cope with the intense heat on the African continent. Other than the clothing portion of the uniform the soldiers were equipped with useful military items. They wore a helmet to guard against shrapnel from explosions. They also had military webbing, which is an elaborate belt that allowed the soldier to attach useful items to his person (canteen, ammunition, bandaging, etc).
The Boers (or Afrikaners) were not a major military power like the British. Next top the official looking Brits the Boer fighters resemble a group of farmers more than they do soldiers. It appears like their random military garb was not in fact a “uniform” at all. Take note of the everyday style of boots, pants and coats that complete their ensemble. The closest items resembling anything military would have to be the ammunition belts that accompany their hunting rifles.
The British have a clear victory over the Afrikaners in terms of military dress. The results are the same for the outcome of the war. Britain did end up taking over the territory; but the cost was very high. The British forces had a difficult time maneuvering over the tough terrain with their long communication lines. The Boers used their knowledge of the land to conduct a successful guerrilla warfare campaign against their enemy. Perhaps traveling with less weight helped them to move around quickly and their wide brimmed hats protected them from heatstroke. The well dressed British won the war but the under equipped Boers put up a good fight.
Vimy Ridge (1917 Battle During WWI)
During the battle of Vimy Ridge the underestimated Canadians were pitted against the powerful German army. One just has to read the book “Vimy”, written by the popular Canadian author Pierre Berton, to get a sense about the Canadian army’s level of discipline and dress. These “wild colonials” did not like the strict military discipline of their British allies. They were reprimanded by British authorities on more than one occasion for their conduct. Take a look at the picture and it is apparent that the Canadians did not earn the reputation as “shock troops” for their perfect appearance.
Now look at the picture of the immaculately dressed German officers. The coat and pants are in perfect order while the boots look like they could serve as mirrors. The black gloves gripping a swagger strict give off an air of harsh discipline. Then there are the helmets. These helmets have a spike on the top of them. This not only makes their ensemble appear to be more frightening; it also makes you wonder if they would actually head-butt you in a close-quarters-combat situation. The thought of having a German ram his head into my thorax is truly a terrifying one.
The German military wins the military appearance debate hands down. However, when it came to the battle it was the Canadians who triumphed. Led by Sr. Arthur Currie, a genius at military strategy, the Canadians overcame the odds and took the strategically important ridge.
Stalingrad (WWII Siege from August of 1942 to February of 1943)
When looking at the picture of the marching Nazis it is obvious that the German soldiers were still a disciplined, strict and effective military machine. Although, the soldier (top left) does have a rather dull expression. Besides him, the rest of these young soldiers look in top condition. From the long, shiny ‘goose-stepping’ boots, to the striking epaulets and gleaming helmet; these soldiers look like they could even pass a military inspection led by Gunnery Sergeant Hartman!
When taking a look at the Russian troops your first impression may not be as forceful. However, these troops are well put together. The heavy winter coats and outer webbing are neatly arranged. The important thing to notice is that the Russians were obviously wearing winter-friendly gear, especially the ‘ushanka’ hats. Although this hat may make you look somewhat ridiculous under normal circumstances, it will keep your head warm in freezing temperatures. This winter fashion-line was an important factor in the siege at Stalingrad.
Even though it is nearly impossible to find any fault with the Nazi uniform; the “tough as nails” Russian ‘Bears’ take the best dressed award for their winter friendly gear. Fashion is not only about looking good; it is also about making smart choices and “dressing for the occasion”. If looks were the only thing that counted in the fashion world their would be a lot of people with broken ankles from wearing stilettos in the Rocky Mountains. The Russian knowledge on how to cope with tough winters helped them to defeat the German 6th Army at Stalingrad.
Some armies may have won the showdown on the fictitious catwalk; but that does not mean that they won the actual battle. When all is said and done, the score for the ‘in vogue’ army versus the ‘frumpish’ soldiers is tied at two-a-piece. I guess it means that having fashion sense will not make you a superior military force. It is true that some uniforms allow for useful equipment that can be helpful in a fight. However, the most important thing in combat is organization and quick thinking. It looks like the Italians still would have had a rough time in WWII even with Armani fatigues.
