Street ball players making it big coined the term baller to mean someone who has it good. Someone who has it made (e.g. no financial worries). This was generally exhibited by big displays of said wealth in the form of gold and diamonds. If you cannot afford it, you ain’t baller. Feeeel meeee? Bill Cosby is going to hate this article.

PIMP cups a.k.a. crunk cups, a.k.a. pimp goblets

A king needs his goblet to toast his followers. A pimp requires his pimp goblet to cheers his bitches. The more diamonds and gold on a cup is made of the more baller of a baller you are. That is the logic of the streets (more specifically suburban streets where the middle class make baller-ass goblets to feel urban).

Thanks to lil’ John it just isn’t quite a house party in the burbs without someone shouting “get crunk” and waving around a hand painted glass covered in rhinestones. Isn’t life better now that bad rap producers have entered the meme. Also many people have suggested that they would like to see 2 girls, 1 pimp cup someday.

Gold Chains & Big Necklaces

One of the best rap duos out there at the moment is two guys out of Chicago called the cool kids. What makes them great is that they are a complete throw back to the mid 80s when rap was rap. When you could write a song about eating fruity pebbles and playing video games, truly this was a golden age for the music. I’m not calling current rap overly commercial, it just rings too closely to what 80s hair metal was. Overly escapist, materialistic and stale, that’s how I would describe it. The cool kids throw it back when all you needed was a little bit of gold and a pager. That’s how you’re supposed to keep it real.

Some cool chains as worn by attractive women, bought from who knows which

Another amusing trend was bounties being placed on famous necklaces worn by rappers. In some cases the necklace becomes more famous than the actual rapper. For example the Platinum H around the neck of Yung Joc. The H stands for hustlenomics. Hustlenomics has yet to be recognized by Websters. No definition available. The chain was reportedly stolen by some guys out in London, or not. No one is really sure.

Just a quick note here by De la Soul. The chain does not make the man. M F Doom has a song where he says, “I’m the Best Rapper who doesn’t wear a chain.”

bad ass.

Iced Out Watches

I got so much ice on my wrist if I touch a keyboard the computer freezes. That’s why I have a Vietnamese person write everything I tell them too. Cause the watch only comes off when I die.

Big bling watches are newer to the game. They did not really start to get noticed till the turn of the century. Jacob the Jeweler was first mentioned in a rap song in 1999 by Jay-z. Since then he has been mentioned in over 40 songs by various rap artists. His style of watches has been duplicated for the streets and now you can buy a cheap replica for about twelve dollars. Remember when swatch sponsored a Run DMC (the guys who played that song with Aerosmith) tour back in the early 80s? I don’t because I wasn’t born for another three years. You are old.

Schooly D had a song back in the day called Gucci Time about his brand new Gucci watch. Having these kind of watches was a symbol that you had made it. You could afford nice things and so you showed them off. Ice round my wrist suckas!

You need to be rolling on them twenty-twos. The bigger the rim the more fierce you are in the game. I think that is self explanatory. What says ballah! besides something that is pointless, expensive and bad for the environment. Need something chromed out? Hell Yeah! Want something golded out? Most Definitely. Need something chromed out? Even Better.

Big pimping!

If you balla you don’t worry about squalor. Life is on easy street.Things go by real nice. You are at the head of the game. Keep it good and clean and your gonna stay that way. The problem though is once you show flash that’s when people start to notice you. When people notice you they want what you have and are willing to take it from you. Gotta be up in there ready to protect what’s yours.

This Poster of Bill Murray says:

“Hey you, Yeah, the one sitting at your computer reading this, The Apple iPhone is now out in Canada. You could buy one, have it encrusted in Jewels and then shoot it into space. I do that three times a day because I am a poster of Bill Murray and I am rich.”

The gold based iPhone says, “hey, do not listen to the prior statement made by the Bill Murray poster. That poster has gone mad with power. Keep me close to your heart for I am golden and an iPhone.”

this is one of the iPhones that the Bill Murray still has not shot into space.

sources:

http://dixonverse.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/039_31742bill-murray-posters.jpg

http://flickr.com/photos/dotsempire/2466768902/

http://flickr.com/photos/23732263@N07/2261389120/

Below shows a range of necklace types. After all, different occasions call for different needs. Which is your favorite?

1. Closeup Necklaces

A real elegant beauty shows in these necklaces. So close you can touch them.

2. Neatly Hanging Necklaces

Nothing completes a woman’s look like necklaces. It’s always nice to see the magic when they compliment the overall aesthetic just right, giving a nice balance.

3. Heavy Necklaces

These necklaces show the kind of pattern we can all get used to. The first redefines round, while the second could be captioned “symmetry”.

4. “Small” Necklaces

There’s no reason why small necklaces are any less good than large ones. Not to take anything away from large ones, of course, just saying that beauty doesn’t necessarily come in one shape or size.

5. Necklaces That Draw the Eye

The way these necklaces are worn and shown, it’s hard to look away. In no time at all, you’re pointed to hanging happiness.

6. Celebrity Necklaces

Scarlett Johansson, Alyssa Milano, and Monica Belucci: three celebrity women whose necklaces are the stuff of dreams. Not just anyone can get their hands on these.

The next time you’re bidding on the 5000 piece Lego replica of the Millennium Falcon on eBay, complete with Lego Luke, Leia, Han and Chewie, type in the words “haunted rings” for shits and giggles. You will be shocked to discover there are presently over 740 rings, all haunted by ghosts, vampires, witches, genies, voodoo curses, dragon magic, winning lottery numbers, and sometimes, all of the above. In fact, I am currently in a bidding war for a ring cursed with the spell “Automatic Writing.” According to a White Witch named Sharai, the ring will serve as a medium to help ghoolies and ghosties communicate through my writing. Imagine, blog posts from the netherworld! Dead grandparents reaching out with messages like “…afterlife…blows…” and “…stop….touching….yourself…” But if channeling the deceased isn’t your cup of tea, I’m sure there’s at least one, out of the 740 magical rings up for auction on eBay, which will tickle your fancy. Here are some of the most powerful rings worth growing a wizard’s beard for.
Djinn Haunted Amazon Shaman Rei Genie Ring

This ring once belonged to a Shaman, whose tribe has been practicing magic for centuries deep in the Brazilian Amazonian jungles. The dual serpents enfolding the Amber stone are symbolic of the Encantado Djinn, an extremely powerful shape-shifting fire genie who ironically rules over an underwater paradise. They also represent both white and dark magic, giving the practitioner options. The amber in this ring “carries the vibration of universal life force.” Millions of years old, amber is basically fossilized sunlight and tree sap, which gives it “excellent light energy.”

Your New Powers

Prosperity, inner spiritual transformation, and psychic awakening.
Protective and healing powers.
Access to ancient knowledge, viewing past lives, and peering into the future.
The ability to travel to all realms. Sweet!
Bending others to your will while cloaking your own ideas.
Purpose, strength, an evolved physical reality and higher consciousness.

Haunted Carnelian Fertility Ring

Scantily clad tiny golden girl included, this ring has been blessed with moon infused waters by all thirteen members of The Coven Blackthorn. The toughest part of blessing the ring was getting thirteen witches in the same room at the same time, what with the kids’ soccer schedules and all. The ring belonged to a powerful witch named Gredle, well known for her psychic and spell casting abilities before she passed away. “No one casts a fertility spell like Aunt Gredle” they used to say.

Your New Powers

Combined with the right spell and under a waxing moon, this ring can increase your wealth, love, psychic powers, and fertility.
Enhanced passion and desire.
Purified blood.
Relieved menstrual cramps.

Marid Queen Genie Ring

The best part about this ring is that it comes with its very own hot, submissive, queen genie! The ring bearer becomes her master whom she will bestow incredible powers and unlimited success. She can smite your enemies, and genies from other rings must obey her every command. “One ring to rule them all” so to speak. She will teach you how to take control of your life and how to achieve your destiny.

Your New Powers

Knowledge of the ancients.
Hot, submissive queen genie wrapped around your finger.
Good luck forever.
Finding whatever it is you desire.
Mind control, mind reading and telepathic ability.
Hot, submissive queen genie wrapped around your finger.
Time control.
Ability to travel through space.
Ability to communicate with any spirit.
Did I mention the hot, submissive queen genie wrapped around your finger.

Gypsy Warlock Trojan Ring

You’re not going to believe this, but this ring once belonged to someone’s great aunt who passed away. The woman was a Russian Gypsy Witch and a genuine Wiccan Spellcaster. She was well versed in Voodoo spells and had dream weaver abilities. She was psychic, clairvoyant, clairaudient, a receptive empath, a medium, and could channel the three heavenly angels Metatron, Uriel, and Yannie. Metatron has always been my favorite Transformer, er, I mean angel. The ring was discovered in Scotland and is haunted with many spirits who will guide its owner towards cash. Despite popular belief, the Trojan warrior on the face symbolizes the “Trojan Wealth Spell”, and not the “Trojan Baby Stopper” spell.

Your New Powers

Ability to win at any casino table.
The ability to know which lottery machines are winning machines.
Visions of winning lottery numbers.
Ability to win raffles and drawings.

Aside from acquiring wealth, the ring’s spirits will also provide you with bonus powers such as: Opening your third eye, visions of the future, protection from enemies, healing abilities, warnings of dangers, and even protection over your pets.

Note: When a Russian Gypsy discovers a ring in Scotland with a Trojan symbol on it, you just know the spirits who haunt the ring know their way around a casino. And the seller provides bullet-proof evidence of this fact when he states “Proof of its Magick: This ring has won more than $4.6 million dollars in lottery money and prizes.” I don’t need to hear more!

And what better way to protect your magic ring than inside this haunted, cursed, evil spell deflecting, dark magic protecting, werewolf frustrating, Wicca made jewelry box?

How to tell your ring is truly magical

1. It must be displayed on the flashiest, tackiest, most colorful eBay description page possible.
2. The background should consist of at least one if not all of the following items: flashing stars, pentagrams, candles, a wolf, the moon, a wolf howling at the moon with a sky filled with flashing stars, a sparkling pixie, gargoyles, and/or a crystal ball.
3. The ring description must be written in blue, purple, or gold lettering, with occasional Gothic font. A ring is especially powerful when the lettering appears to be on fire. 4. Magic is spelled with a ‘k’ (Magick) 5. It must have been handed down from an aunt who passed away. Apparently there are no powerful witches in existence right now, and no rings belonging to the living have any magical qualities to speak of.