Facial hair is every boy’s passage into manhood. From the very first sprouts to poke out of the corner of the young lad’s upper lip, there is something truly sacred about a man’s facial hair, as precious as a US work visa is to a foreigner working in the States. In fact, the American Mustache Institute (AMI) was specifically established to advocate facial hair and promote greater acceptance of moustaches in the workplace and throughout modern culture. Seriously!
To honor famous facial hair, here’s a look at some of the most celebrated beards and moustaches worn by some of the biggest, baddest stars.
Tom Selleck
“The Magnum Moustache”
Sam Elliott
“The Horseshoe Moustache”
I believe this quote justly sums up the greatness of Sam Elliott’s man-stash: Sam Elliott’s mustache exudes complete testicular endowment. His mustache is like John Wayne’s sweat mixed with a chainsaw, three pints of Guiness, Indiana Jones, early Nintendo era Castlevania and motor oil. -Gents with cool ass facial hair-
Chuck Norris
“Behind Chuck Norris’ Beard is another fist.”
Frank Zappa
“The Imperial Moustache”
Zappa became so identifiable by his moustache that after his death its image was copyrighted by the Zappa Family Trust.
ZZ Top
“The ZZ Top”
In the 80s, Billy Gibbons (guitar) and Dusty Hill (bass guitar) were offered millions of dollars by a razor company to shave their beards off. They declined.
Joaquin Phoenix
“Chief Crazy Beard”
When Joaquin seemingly lost his mind, quit the movie business, grew a shabby Jesus Morrison beard and made his rap debut, rumors circulated that it was an elaborate hoax. In fact at the time, Casey Affleck was filiming a documentary on Phoenix called I’m Still Here: The Last Year of Joaquin Phoenix.The Los Angeles Times reported that the film featured “more male frontal nudity than you’d find in some gay porn films and a stomach-turning sequence in which someone feuding with Phoenix defecates on the actor while he’s asleep”. Reportedly film buyers, after seeing it, were still uncertain whether it was a serious documentary or a mockumentary.
Brad Pitt
“Van Dyke/Goatboy”
Pitt told Britain’s The Sun that the reason he is growing a beard is because he’s bored.
Hulk Hogan
“The Handlebar”
Salvador Dali
“The Dali”
The famous painter’s trademark moustache, is characterized by long points bent or curved steeply upward which require an artificial styling aid (i.e. stash wax). Dalí published a book dedicated solely to his moustache.
John Waters
“The Pencil Moustache/Mouthbrow”
The pencil moustache is narrow, straight and thin as though it has been drawn on with a pencil. It is closely clipped, outlining the upper lip, with a wide shaven gap between the nose and moustache. It was the moustache of choice for the fictional character Gomez Addams of The Addams Family. Billionaire-aviator Howard Hughes was known for his iconic pencil moustache, which he grew after a 1946 plane crash.
Gene Shalit
“The Handlebar”
Known for his frequent use of puns, rocky relationship with Bryant Gumbel and the bushy, mother-of-all handlebar moustaches. (Handlebar moustaches resemble the handlebars of a motorcycle)
Billy Mays
“There are two kinds of people in this world that go around beardless—boys and women—and I am neither one”-Greek Quote-
Geraldo Rivera
When he isn’t helping people in wheelchairs, he must be using his time grooming his bountiful salt-and-pepper man-stash.
Rollie Fingers
“The Spaghetti Stash”
The spaghetti stash got its name for its stereotypical association with Italian men. Rollie Fingers certainly had one bad-ass stash and a name to match.
Groucho Marx
“The Greasepaint-Satsh”
The greasepaint moustache and eyebrows Marx painted on originated as a quick-fix reaction prior to a vaudeville performance when he did not have time to apply the pasted-on moustache he had been using, plus he did not enjoy the removal of the moustache because of the effects of tearing an adhesive bandage off the same patch of skin every time he wore it.
Charlie Chaplin
“Sole Stash, The Chaplin,The Hitler Stache or The Toothbrush”
Chaplin devised his moustache from a bit of crepe hair belonging to Mark Swain, an American actor and vaudevillian, prolific throughout the 1910’s-1930’s. Both Marx and Chaplin wore artifical moustaches most of their lives.
Alexi Lalas
“Ginger Beard”
Ron Jeremy
The “Hedgehog’s” moustache make him possibly one of the most recognizable faces in the porn industry.
Strikebeards
The strike beards were the result of the Writers Guild of America strike. Conan O’Brien, grew his first-ever beard, calling it “a hobby on my face”.
Ned Flanders
