Girls like them because they’re twinkly and expensive. Guys like them as a conceptually easy gift - read the box, no creativity required. But that diamonds cost what they cost, often in the form of a two-months salary “expression of love and commitment” (good job advertising…), leaves an understandable bad taste in the male mouth. Here are some cooler diamond uses to salvage their image.

Quantum Cryptography

Diamond-based optical fiber technology has revolutionized security in data transfer. Unlike other gems, diamonds, when grown at the tips of optical fibers, have a single flaw that emits single photons at a time, so you know for sure if information is being lifted. With this technology, if one proton’s missing, you notice. Source

Chemotherapy

Nanodiamonds can be used in cancer treatment by attaching them to cancer cells in a fluorescent state, serving to clearly illuminate areas to send medicine. How do you create fluorescent nanodiamonds? By detonating TNT and RDX, and taking diamonds on the nanometer scale from the soot, then blasting them with high energy helium ions. Being carbon-based, the human body doesn’t really have compatibility issues. Source

Precision Cutting

With their near-indestructibility, diamonds are and have been a great choice for cutting/engraving/etching. Used in everything from mining to precision surgery, they’re the only choice for long-term, exact use. Even if they are still diamonds and do still cost some good money, their reliability in lucrative applications keeps them employed. Source

Data Storage

Wants to hold a TB on a single disc? Single crystal diamond spheres are key to the next wave in data storage, as accurate tiny lenses needed to work with a readout laser operating at extremely short wavelengths. With its high refractive index and transparency, diamonds are the perfect choice. Source

Studying High Pressure Conditions

This 20th century invention uses two diamonds pressed against each other by a force-generating mechanism, creating an intense amount of pressure by the focusing of that applied force onto the small area where they meet. Observing high quality, flawless diamonds in this way allows for an in-lab study, illuminating difficult to observe large-scale pressure conditions such as pressure at the center of the Earth and on other planets. Flawless victory. Source

If diamonds are forever, then why do men spend two months’ salary on a wedding ring when 50% of marriages don’t last more than seven years? Let’s get realistic people! Unless people are whipping out magnifying glasses to check out your new bride’s finger bling, a cubic zirconia is just as sexy and a fraction of the price. It’s all about matching the right material with the right relationship. Here are some great ring ideas for people who laugh at words like “forever”, and “You’re the one” and “I love you”.

As young boys, we all watched our share of Fashion Television as the only source of occasional daytime pornography - the see-through and altogether “popping out”fits were those rare gems that made it all worth it. Fortunately, there was some entertainment between stray boob runway walk jiggle - the freaks!

1KrazyKorean’s girlfriend?

Hexadecimal from Reboot, on the weekend.

That’s one crusty princess.

How crazy is THIS? Ok whatever she’s just hot, sue me.

“The corsage had better match my dress, dipsh*t.”

The key to branding, they say, is subtlety.

It’s like a cheerleader for the Donny Darko bunny.

I like this piece. The cage stemming from the crown shows that even royalty suffers limitation, with the puzzle pieces reminding us of the difficulties we all face fitting in with our respective peers. Indeed, life is beautiful, but mysterious, too.

Phap.

Condumb Trashion.

1KrazyKorean’s girlfriend’s… evil… twin?

Started as a lowly, ugly little caterpillar, but then transformed into a beaauuuutiful butterfly!

Step One: Rob bank
Step Two: Hide cash in trash bag
Step Three: Hide self in trash bag suit
Step Four: Escape during trash pickup
Step Five: Salvage dignity

Let your girlfriend buy jewelry before you let her buy any of this crap!

I don’t like having to read an article 3 times. Thankfully, this recent one was short, although it was short on explanation too. The title reads “Thief Steals Ring Off Hand of 90-Year-Old Woman”. That wording seems to strongly suggest that the ring was actually physically removed from the woman’s hand, which is all the more disturbing, and I suppose more interesting news, too. The jewelry thief stole the $21,000 diamond engagement ring from a 90-year-old lady in an assisted-living facility. Without saying more about the woman, her age at least opens the door to the from-her-finger removal possibility.

But here’s the weird part. Apparently, the woman’s daughter-in-law is the one who noticed it was missing, and the official police report says it was stolen between March 9^th and 23^rd. Now either the thief followed her around and pulled it off her finger super slowly over a two-week period, or it was simply kept somewhere in her home and removed from there. As far as theft prevention is concerned the police commander is quoted as saying “the best thing to do with jewelry is to wear it.” This mostly suggests that she wasn’t wearing it at the time, although it could be interpreted as a “it’s the best thing to do, and still it was taken.” Given other recent ring thefts from the elderly like this, the news is disheartening either way.

So I guess this is either an absolutely outlandish crime, or a more regular but still very unfortunate crime, with confusing reporting. Maybe they meant to say something along the lines of “the criminal took it off her hands,” as in “no, go out, I’ll babysit and take the kids off your hands.” Except you’d end up returning the kids. And they’re probably not worth $21,000. Sorry - I don’t like kids.